How to Help Your Child Cope with Night Terrors

Your child is sleeping peacefully… until suddenly, they bolt upright. They cry, scream, or even thrash. Their eyes are open, but they're not aware of your presence.

You try to comfort them, but they can’t seem to be soothed. Then, just as suddenly, they settle back down as if nothing had happened.

These frightening moments are something many parents experience, especially during toddlerhood and early childhood.

If you want to learn how to help your child deal with these, this guide is for you. We’ll help parents understand night terrors in toddlers (and even infant night terrors) and how to respond to them.

What Are Night Terrors?

Night terrors are a type of sleep disturbance (parasomnia) that happens during deep non-REM sleep. They typically occur within the first 2 to 3 hours of bedtime. 

Night terrors are different from nightmares. In night terrors, children are not actually dreaming. They aren’t aware of what's happening in a night terror.

Here’s what parents usually see in or after a night terror:

• Child suddenly crying, screaming or shouting 

• Rapid breathing and increased heart rate 

• Sweating, trembling or thrashing 

• Eyes open but unresponsive 

• Inconsolable despite your comforting 

• No memory of the event the next morning 

Night terrors look dramatic, but the good news is that they’re not harmful. Children are not actually in pain during them.

Night Terrors vs Nightmares: What’s the Difference?

Both night terrors and nightmares can be normal parts of childhood development. To understand the difference between them, here’s a simple explanation:

• During nightmares, a child is actually dreaming. During night terrors, the child is not dreaming, even if unconscious.

• After nightmares, the child wakes and can recall the dream or seek comfort. After night terrors, the child may not recall the episode or seek comfort.

Why Night Terrors Happen (Common Causes)

Night terrors can arise from multiple causes. Here are some of the most common triggers or causes:

• Overtiredness or irregular sleep schedules 

• Stress or big changes in routine 

• Fever or illness which affects sleep cycles 

• Genetics

• Sleep disruptions (e.g. noise, light, overtired naps) 

• Developmental stages, e.g. the toddler stage of rapid brain development 

• Separation anxiety or new emotional stress 

Parents often blame themselves for night terrors, but the truth is that these events have nothing to do with parenting style or emotional security. As you see from the list above, even something like genetics (which you can’t control) can cause them!

What to Do When a Night Terror Happens

If a night terror happens, here’s what you should and shouldn’t do:

• Stay calm. Your child is unaware and can’t be comforted, after all. 

• Keep the environment safe, quiet, and dim. Move objects or hold their shoulders only if necessary. Speak softly and avoid sudden movements. Avoid turning on the lights unless necessary.

• Never shake or wake the child, as it can prolong the episode. Avoid picking up your child unless it’s necessary. 

• Wait nearby until it ends on its own. This generally takes only 5 to 15 minutes. 

• Once they settle, offer gentle reassurance. You may provide a soft back rub, reposition their blanket, or speak calming words, for example. 

• In the morning, avoid discussing details of the night terror. They won’t remember it, and it may only cause them anxiety. If they seem tired or clingy the next day, provide extra comfort as needed.

Above all, remember this: the goal is safety, not waking or soothing. 

How to Reduce Night Terrors Over Time

While not all triggers for night terrors are controllable, some can be managed. As such, there may be ways to reduce the incidence of night terrors over time.               

Here are some methods other parents have used to reduce night terrors in toddlers:

• Create a predictable bedtime routine. Options include a warm bath, dim lights, or even quiet reading together before bedtime. 

• Ensure your child gets enough daytime sleep. This can help avoid overtiring the child, which is a common trigger for night terrors. 

• Maintain a consistent sleep schedule. Ensure that the naptime and bedtime are the same every day. 

• Offer comfort if the child is going through separation anxiety.

  For example, provide comfort like blankets or soft toys they like, and reassure them that you’ll return. 

• Keep the bedroom environment cool, calm, and dark. The more serene the atmosphere, the better. Avoid overstimulation during this time too, such as loud play or exciting activities. 

• Try the scheduled awakening technique. This is specifically for cases where the night terror happens around the same time each night. Gently wake your child 15 minutes before the expected time for several nights to interrupt the sleep cycle. It can reduce the frequency of night terrors.

When to Seek Medical Advice

So if most night terrors are normal, are there ones that should cause you to seek professional help?

It’s rare, but there may be times when that’s the right call. Parents should consult a doctor or paediatrician if any of the following is true:

• Episodes happen multiple times a week 

• Episodes last more than 20-30 minutes 

• The child gets injured during episodes 

• Terrors continue past age 6-7 

• The episodes are linked to snoring or breathing issues (possible sleep apnea) 

• You still feel anxious or unsure about your child’s safety during these episodes

Get More Advice from Other Parents

Night terrors can be frightening for parents, but now you know: they’re generally just a normal, temporary childhood sleep disturbance.

With understanding, patience and the right sleep habits, episodes often decrease and eventually disappear. Some of the tips we’ve provided can help you see your child through them, too.

If you want to explore more guides on toddler behaviour and positive parenting, check out our other articles here at Mummy Guru!